On The MET "Gala." (And Why I Don’t Get It)

But I still don’t get it: Because 90% of the stars who showed up looked atrocious. I mean, I got that the theme was Punk, and that the whole shindig was more costumey than real. But still: That shouldn’t be an excuse to look frugly on purpose!

Now this wouldn’t be a “Why I Don’t Work In A Fashion Magazine” post if I didn’t proceed on to making my own common-sense comments about the “fashion” at the “gala.” Naturally, I’ll only cover some of the looks–not ALL–for your sake!) Also, I made these comments hypothetical on behalf of the wearers’ subconscious.

PS– Even Kathy Lee and Hoda (of all people) referred to the “gala” as a “freak show”!! So we kow we’re onto something good…

Beyoncé: “I hope the belt is enough of a punk accent because I hate punk! I’m a DIVA. Whose dress seems to be on fire. Just like my hair. Perfecto. I learned that in Cuba, yo!”

via Hollywood Life (Don’t click on it, though, b/c it won’t take you anywhere!)

K-Stew: “I wanted to channel my inner matador tonight, k? Rob thought it’d be hot. And I better make him happy if I want him to stay this time.”

via Hollywood Life

Carey Muligan: “Am I the only celeb tonight who managed to look classy? Guess I missed the memo.”

via Perez Hilton

J-Law: “Wish they had had the time to alter my mom’s dress! Dang it. I look so weird in it. Also, I heard someone somewhere had died recently. So I’m wearing this super punk headpiece while I mourn them AND laugh at that lady’s mohawk. Gosh what was she thinking?”

via HuffPo Canada

Also via HuffPo Canada

^^ Sarah Jessica Parker ^^: “Career-wise I’ve been beyond irrelevant for the past few years, so this headpiece better get me press for DAYS! See, that Hunger Games chick gets it!”

Katy Perry: o_O “Araaaaaaabiiiin [or rather Egyptiiiiiian] niiiiiiiiights!!!!”

via HuffPo Canada

Kim K: “Best way to honor my Eastern European roots? Wear my grandma’s tablecloth, obviously. Don’t I look bigger in this? Lovely, I know. Kanye looks PO’d though. Hm what else is new?”

Also via HuffPo Canada

Anne Hathaway: “Spiderwebs!”

(She needs a bra–or some type of coverup) via HuffPo Canada

Mary Kate Olsen: “Listen, I know the theme was punk but I am, have always been, and forever will be a friggin’ HIPPIE, ‘aight?”

via HuffPo Canada

Kirsten Dunst: “The designer I hired off Project Runway killed this beautiful bird but not even that was enough; he clearly ran out of feathers! He’s fired.”

via HuffPo Canada

Lindsey Vonn: “Oh it’s not my wedding yet? Ha oh well. I love Tiger! Rowr that’s such a sexy name.”

via HuffPo Canada

Madonna: “This is MY night. None of these punks know what Punk even is. Look at me; I was BORN Punk, yo! Ugh those fools.”

via HuffPo Canada

OK there’s a LOT more fashion misses that I cared to document. (I have a life, my dears!!) So if interested, look’em up and tell me what you think! (HuffPo Canada’s comments about each piece are pretty great..) >> I won’t blame you if you don’t, though, because, let’s face it: This was just chaos.