(Side-note: To some of you, that picture above may or may not remind you of a certain [computer-generated] baby boy, my Julian, who was such a great kid when he was little :P.)
The main reason is obviously her baby. But how else she justified her absences from blogland struck me as so.dang.commonsense and poignant that it made me want to copy the whole thing and repost it (w/her permission of course) under a new title. Something like, “A Childless Blogger Manifesto to Mommy Bloggers.”
But I didn’t. Instead, I’ll talk about her most memorable sections and hope that at least one (of those typical) mommy blogger(s) out there reads it and changes her ways.
So here it is.
Megan starts her post by going over the many (and I mean MANY) things–besides her pregnancy–that have kept her away from her blog and then letting us know that she’s thought about not blogging anymore.
It’s been a battle because I decided I didn’t want to give [blogging] up completely; but if you’re not consistent, you lose readers. … you need to blog several times a week and promote yourself on social media several times a day and you need to write engaging posts. I don’t know how people do it! …
(I don’t know either, girl. I’d rather have infrequent great posts than super frequent meaningless crap on my blog, but to each their own!)
And then she writes something that made me swear she had been reading my mind!
With my life changing, I know I don’t want to be a mom blogger. There’s nothing wrong with mom bloggers, it’s just not the direction I personally want my blog to take. I also have decided that I want to keep some things private and guarded. I don’t want to share all about my child on my blog. Again, I have no problem with people who do that…that’s their choice. I, however, am choosing not to do that. [Bolding my own.]
She’s being way nicer than I am in this post, granted, but don’t you love that? Some things SHOULD be kept private and guarded.
Do these seem familiar?
“Look at Daisy at 13 months!”
“Look at Daisy at 27 months!”
“Look at Daisy at 35 months!”
Every time I see stuff like that (where [a] the months ≠ “significant” birthday years, but are just random numbers and [b] the blogger’ll post a monthly SERIES because two or three aren’t enough), I go, “Lady, for real???!!!” (We’ve all seen/skipped over posts like that, huh?)
Whatever happened to sharing things just with loved ones? It’s true, we write for ourselves, but there’s a BIG difference between writing for ourselves and writing for our parents and grandparents in that the latter should stay between you and your parents and grandparents.
And in a later email exchange, Megan actually said something along those lines:
Here’s my original comment:
I’m so happy to “hear” you say you won’t be a (typical) mommy blogger, not b/c I’m that invested into what you do but b/c I’d rather NOT have to be as invested in the lives of other moms’ kids… (Having to skip “My Kid Turns X Months Today!” posts, among other irrelevant little nothings, gets exhausting very quickly.)
SO CONGRATS! You’re setting a beautiful example I’ll be happy to follow once the time comes. We’ll be here for whenever you’re in the mood to post.
And here’s her reply:
Thanks! I definitely understand…it’s tough when you really enjoyed someone’s blog and they have a baby and now that’s all they write about. I get it…the baby consumes your thoughts and life. However, it’s hard to make that adjustment (as a reader) if that’s not what you started out reading their blogs for. If you intentionally set out to follow a mom blogger, you know what to expect. It’s tougher when someone’s a lifestyle blogger and their topics change with their lifestyle. :)Also, as I said…we plan to keep more of our personal life private. That’s the choice we are making that we think is best for our child. I probably will do baby updates…just on my private blog that is for family and close friends who care about such things. :)
WHY CAN’T THERE BE MORE BLOGGERS LIKE HER?
Look I get it: Your kid is the reason you wake up every morning; he’s why you exist; he’s why you breathe. (But for the record: Parents who think their kid is the best and most perfect ever are really deluding themselves.)
So, logically (or so you think) you MUST tell the world about every second of his existence. To hell with those who don’t care, you proclaim, because there IS an audience for a post about my kid looking every bit like his father in our farm:
And you know what? There IS an audience! It’s made up of your dad, mom, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends/honorary relatives, and the kid’s godparents. Is it smaller? Yes. But will they devour your content and ask for thirds? Always. (Everyone else, not at all.)
If you don’t want to send each party an email with personalized updates (because who would?–though you could), go the Megan route and have a private blog that can only be accessed by those YOU authorize. Then, share each post’s link. EASY!
BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP SOME THINGS IN MIND:
• First and foremost, don’t steal your kid’s privacy.
• Don’t post pictures that pervs can steal and do fugly things with.
• And for the love of whatever deity you believe in, don’t post things other bloggers will just go all :$ at. I like reading your blog, but I–along with dozens/hundreds/thousands others–won’t when you start posting irrelevant updates meant for family.
It’s all just part of knowing what to blog and not blog about.
Anyone else with me? Or do you disagree? Share your thoughts!
I think for those who blog as more of a personal journal, it makes complete sense to put your kid on there, obviously thinking about it first. For others, like mine, that have a very distinct focus, it draws attention away from the whole reason your blogging and almost ruins your integrity as a blogger. That’s one of the reasons that I’ve decided to leave bumpdates off the blog. I know people love them, and I’d love to share my pictures and thoughts, but it takes away from a day of blogging about marriage each week and isn’t what my blog is about at all. Yes, my content will shift a little next year when our little one enters our lives, but I’ve made it a goal to only share posts that focus on our marriage. ie how I plan to make it a priority when the baby comes, date nights with a baby, etc. because my sole focus is making marriage a priority through every stage of life!!!
Anyway…. now that I’ve written a novel, thanks for sharing an amazing post, as always! ;)
Amberly!! Looks like your comment stuck around from when I first published this post, which is awesome :).
Anyways, I’ve already begun to notice a nice change on your blog in which you discuss your pregnancy and its effect on your marriage but I like how you’re not all bumpdate-bumpdate-bumpdate, which def alienates original fans. I mean there ARE people out there who like being all up in someone’ s business, so starngers’ bumpdates and other news are perfect for them… BUT to the rest of us, it’s like, “Arghh!! :$”
So you keep up the great work w/your blog and I’m so excited for baby Lambertsen’s birthday!!
I totally agree with you on this. I’m just starting out (blogging that is) but even in my social media accounts I don’t post daily pictures of my son. That’s not to say I don’t take countless pictures of him -because I do. I just email them or send them via text to family. Some friends would ask me why I was so private with sharing pictures of my son if my accounts were “private”. I tried to explain myself many times but they never understood my reasons.
Anyhow, I can say that I don’t really follow mommy bloggers for that reason. I find their blogs so irrelevant. Sure I’m a mom, and there may be some good post on certain topics, but most mommy bloggers just post about their children’s milestones. Like you said, there’s nothing wrong with that if you do it with family, but with the world wide web? Come on!!!!
On another note, I agree with you in the posting mediocre weekly posts vs. amazing posts every so often. I think if you have a type of series going on (on your blog) it’s okay to post weekly, but if you’re writing content -you want to make sure it’s good, interesting and entertaining. I follow your blog and I really enjoy it. Thanks for the great post :)
Hi Claudia! Thanks so much for your comment! I nodded several times while reading it b/c it was so spot-on. I wish mommy bloggers stopped thinking of their sites as scrapbooks for the whole world to see–ahem, stalk.
Wow, I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog! Me and my blogging partner are NOT moms but we have this whole privacy discussion all the time. When we started blogging we found the whole writing about yourself but not sharing millions of selfies, super private moments etc. kind of a hard one to reconcile. In the end, we figured we didn’t want every single thing about us to float around the internet…and that was okay! You can still be a good blogger and keep things to yourself and your immediate circle! Great post xx
Exactly! I don’t just get the need to get so personal and share EVERYthing.. And then those of us who don’t like the oversharing are vilified sometimes on social media and told to “not follow” oversharers if we don’t like their posts. But that’s not the point: There IS an audience for overshareres–it’s just not the *world wide* web.
Thanks for stopping by, btw :D!)