Many gals already have had an idea of what we want our wedding to be like for a long time. Regardless of whether we know exactly who our vendors will be or whether we just have a slight idea of our colors, we still know something. I definitely want my future (and, as of now, hypothetical) fiancé to be involved in the planning process because it’s OUR day, but let’s face it: It’s mostly a gal thing.
Proposals, on the other hand, I think, are mostly guy things.
So I know the civil/politically correct thing to say is that guys should be free to do whatever they effin’ please with their proposal. And they should! But hey, I’d be LYING if I didn’t admit that gals (OK, me) didn’t have the slightest idea about what we want our own get-proposed-to shindig to go down.
Blame it on my slightly Type A, only-child personality: I like to be in control. (If only this made me more watchful of my finances… *Sigh.*) Which is ironic b/c, at least when it comes to love and relationships, I’m not into EVER making the first moves whatsoever, and I doubt I’ll ever considering proposing.
So what’s my future (and hypothetical) fiancé to do? Here I offer you (yes, I’m theoretically targeting you, dear future fiancé) a few pointers:
1. Parents, Friends/Family: My parents NEED to know about it. Not after the fact, but before. Sure, our family and friends can get involved, but you need my parents’ blessing before the popping of the question takes place. We’re proudly old-fashioned, remember?
2. Rings: My mom knows rings. She even knows the style of the ring I want. BUT if your ring happens to be a family heirloom, then it’d be an HONOR for me to wear it. However, if you don’t have an heirloom, then not to worry. Just ask me for pointers :).
3. Video: The proposal should definitely be filmed. Pictures may = 1000 words, but video actually captures those words, plus any surprises, music, and other sounds that may add to the actual event. You know how weddings and receptions are almost always filmed in addition to photographed? Same concept applies here.
4. It should represent YOU: And us. But actually, mainly you. Chances are I’ll love your confidence already, so if you’re not feeling it, or if you’re scared b/c you’re about to pull off this huge (perhaps potentially dangerous/goofy/nerve-racking) stunt or whatever, then I’ll start fearing for your life instead of paying attention to the hugely beautiful gesture of your actual proposal. And I’d really rather pay attention to it b/c you deserve it.
5. Last, but not least, you should feel free to disregard any of these rules (except for #1, b/c that’s non-negotiable): After all, our proposal is your day (again, I ain’t proposing!) and you should do whatever you think will make it perfect. These (except for #1) are just nice suggestions, and by no means should they be considered Commandments.
I mean would I like to get it on film to show future generations? Sure. But if that minor detail escapes you, no biggie. Would I rather have a ring that resembles what’s on my secret Pinterest board(s)? Sure. But if it doesn’t, I’ll still love it And you. And whoever will turn it into what I wanted years down the line.
When in doubt, just ask me or my mom :). Whether it’s a grand or intimate affair, it’ll by far be the best day of my life, so you needn’t worry about whether I’ll approve b/c I already do. ♥
Lastly, a note to the ladies who read this: This list of suggestions (though #1 IS a requirement) is mine and mine only. So if you feel like being nasty about the whole thing or one/some of the items, just take it easy, breathe, and remember to instead be nice and civil in voicing your opinion.
Lastly #2, a note to my family members and friends who read this: As far as I know (which is oxymoronic, b/c one can’t really ever know anything well enough), I’m not on my way to getting engaged. And yes, I may be a lil’ too young to be offering my future/hypothetical fiancé pointers on his (our) proposal, but that’s my life. And you know me, I like having some say in it. Besides, men can neither guess our feelings nor deserve any “I wish you had done X” complaints b/c we didn’t voice our opinion. So I see something like this as more of a favor to them. (Akin to gals who “randomly” leave pictures of their desired engagement rings for their boyfriends to “stumble upon,” which I oddly think is kinda dumb.)
All you single ladies: Do YOU have any “proposal” requests? And to the married gals: Was your proposal everything you had imagined or would you want to change something about it?