The Many Problems With Mommy Vloggers

This isn’t my first post about mommy vloggers (and YouTube moms) and it won’t be my last. I thought becoming a homemaker, and later a stay-at-home mom, would reduce the amount of idiocies I’d encounter, but unfortunately, I still–and sometimes unwillingly–still have the fortune of coming across occasional WTF-ness courtesy of mommy vloggers. Thank God for free will and the power to unsubscribe.

Rarely do I attack someone’s livelihood or job, though if they’re being mediocre or incompetent at my expense, you bet I’ll complain.

But when it comes to children, I beyond despise parents who follow their kids around with cameras trying to sell them in exchange for a few bucks or Likes instead of actually parenting them.

Most mommy vloggers are worthless and their footage mundane and questionable. Here are the reasons why I can’t stand them and why they don’t deserve your attention or a platform in general:

They don’t provide any real value

Have you heard of “Days in The Life” videos? They’re basically the foundation of a mommy vlogger’s channel: They mostly show them going about their day with their kids, running errands, or doing nothing at home. They’re not teaching anyone a skill or even listing ideas for activities to do with kids. I guess some find these “relatable” but I find them disturbing.

By merely filming footage for and posting their “Days in The Life” videos, mommy vloggers provide no value. Well, unless you’re YouTube (which benefits from the views = Revenue!) or a stalker and pervert (who benefits from following some stranger around for God-knows-what reasons).

Related side note: What kind of VALUE am I talking about?

Most people’s lives are boring–or shall I say, normal. I admit mine is both, but in a good way. That’s because it’s safe, mostly predictable, and full of love and wonder courtesy of my loved ones. I don’t try to make it something it’s not.

I think mommy vloggers do, though: Their lives are also boring and normal, but they try to over-glamorize it by filming everything they do and talking about everything no one else but Nosy Nancies care about. They’re not famous or rich (or at least most aren’t), but they try to make themselves relevant and amazing by pretending their lives are better than everyone else’s. This way, they also try to make themselves feel better about their normal, boring lives.

Mommy vloggers do all that by filming all the mundane things they do and recording FAQs with their husbands where they address the most intimate couple-y questions. (Yes, some will even talk about their sex lives.. WTF.) But mundane isn’t valuable. Mundane is irrelevant. Therefore, these women’s livelihoods depend so much on turning their mundane into our amazing, as if they somehow were more worthwhile than regular Ms. Homemaker or Ms. Teacher or Ms. Secretary or Ms CEO, and so on.

Having said that, what I mean by “providing value” is one’s ability to give viewers something that they can genuinely use and take advantage of. A mommy vlogger who shares her family’s Montessori playroom shows me what we can put in our children’s Montessori playroom. A daddy vlogger who reviews their new baby monitor shows me whether to remember that monitor if we need one latter on. A mom who cooks recipes tells me what to be on the lookout for at the grocery store. A dad who goes over what was in his hospital bag (because dads need one, too!) showed us what to pack in my husband’s. All these things are useful and valuable!

(I’ll refer back to ^ that ^ later.)

They think everyone online has good intentions

People like these mommy vloggers who are this naive and oblivious need to either not have kids or be taught about the kind of content stalkers and perverts seek online, because NEWSFLASH! It’s the exact content they happily share.

The sad thing is that these moms make it ridiculously easy for someone to find them, but somehow they’re too trusting and seriously dumb.

They’re sure no one knows how to look them up

Along those lines, nothing is private online.

We were recently watching the latest video from someone who’s turning an old abandoned business building into his home-workshop-studio, and some of his B-roll showed the building’s old logo. When you look up the name of that old company for kicks and giggles, you’re able to find… you guessed it! None other than the guy’s actual address, which you could tell he’s tried hard to conceal in past videos.

But he’s single and seems competent at self-defense, so his slip-up isn’t as worrisome.

On the other hand, mommy vloggers who post about their (kids’) every move don’t seem as intelligent!

Yes, they may have security systems, but that unfortunately doesn’t prevent anyone from, say, looking them up. And if they’re like a vlogger I’ll bring up below, the people looking them up will in seconds find not only their address, but also the husband’s mom’s name, among other facts.

They may allege countless times that they’re fine because they never disclose what part of a state they live in and they never agree to meet with anyone who wants a coffee or playdate with them, but I’m seriously baffled by how dumb that is: How can anyone think this alone protects them?!

They’re confident their kids will want to be SOLD forever

Most mommy vloggers see their kids as accessories they get to show off, and not as individuals with a right to privacy that they have the privilege of taking care of.

Abusing kids this way (making them perform for the sake of Likes and money) constitutes a job, but these kids are only being compensated by having strangers all over the world know their complete name, birth stats, monthly physiological stats, where they sleep, what they eat, what they’ve learned, their milestones, their shortcomings, etc.

Some of these kids even grow up on screen like those messed-up reality TV “stars” whose childhoods were ruined thanks to greedy parents who chose a paycheck over their welfare.

There isn’t much that viewers don’t know about these poor kids and it amazes me that these parents don’t care.

Their husbands are limp dicks

There’s just no better way to phrase this one.

There’s a reason you (almost) never see the men–the so-called protectors–in these videos, and that’s because real men don’t stand there watching their kids get sold online.

Boys get captivated by the fame and the money; it’s those idiot males you’ll see playing the part of “Dad” in these videos because they aren’t good enough for more.

But real DADS aren’t doormats or limp dicks: their kids’ wellbeing is of upmost importance to them and they don’t let anyone (not even their fame-hungry wives) violate that.

Whenever I catch a glimpse of the “dad” in these videos, I always see a male who looks like he’s been kidnapped and is at his wife’s mercy because he lacks any say in the purpose or direction their family’s heading.

Real dads know about the dangers of sharing too much (or juuust enough) online; they know how easy it is to find someone’s contact info online; they know that there are perverts out there looking for kid content; and they’d therefore rather be the provider in every way than sacrifice their kids’ sanity for a few (thousand) bucks or for their wife’s misguided happiness.

They don’t seem mentally stable

One such mommy vlogger who I’ll call Kayla because that’s her name admitted once that she considers her viewers her FRIENDS.

Her husband Joe was asked about that as well, and he basically insinuated she’s lonely and he likes how vlogging lets her have a “community.” I don’t know if that’s sad, pathetic, or both.

I’ve said it before: I blog to get things off my chest that I can’t otherwise express elsewhere, but never to expose our lives or create a “tribe” of followers I’d consider my friends. Fans, readers, and followers ≠ friends.

He then went on to admit that while they supposedly “don’t need the money she makes” (which, in later videos she reveals it can be up to $10K/mo), “it’s nice to have it.”

Which, despite of what his fake macho pride says out loud, means that that money is absolutely needed or else he wouldn’t be OK with her depending on their kids so much for their livelihood.

Sorry to break it to you, Joe, but you’re not a good provider if you depend on the money your wife earns off your kids.

Those are my gripes for now. But I’d happily say all of that to a mommy vlogger’s face.

In fact, I did so once and I don’t think I ever got a response.

Here’s a bit of context: Kayla, the real mommy vlogger I mentioned above, recently hit 100,000 subscribers. To celebrate, she filmed a video of her “unboxing” her Silver (?) YouTube button, surrounded by her husband and kids while she tearfully thanked her audience for getting her to that place.

Whether that’s an actual accomplishment is debatable, to be honest, and I’ll reiterate why: Following your kids around with a camera doesn’t provide any value, unless you’re say, testing a toy, teaching viewers how they adapt to the world because perhaps they’re differently abled, or having them demonstrate a skill you taught them so your audience can see what it looks like so THEY can teach their own kids.

There are wonderful YouTube channels that do just that: Two in particular that I enjoy (Hapa Family and Kevin Liu) discuss Montessori principles + other practical real-life lessons and how they’ve taught their kids to implement them in real life. Sometimes they even review popular Montessori activities, objects (incl. rooms), and toys by showing how their kids do/use them. This all gives viewers an idea of actual scenarios we can adopt and learn from so we can later pass them on to our own children.

But (most) mommy vloggers are almost physically incapable of doing that. Instead, they merely film themselves going to the post office, detailing their grocery store or clothing store “hauls,” cutting up fruits for their kids’ TV-filled lunches, and so on. Like I said earlier, this is only valuable to a Peeping Tom who can’t get enough of such kind of content.

And because of how despicable and abusive I think this is, I decided to share my thoughts with Kayla one day. Without further ado:

Hey Kayla, I really hope this helps now or later…

Idk whether you read more comments beyond Day 1 or if you care about an alternate POV, but I can’t grasp how naive (for lack of a better word) you seem to be about internet safety and what people can look up these days, esp. when your kids = your content. This isn’t snark: As a former fan of yours and someone who values privacy and doesn’t share anything about her family (esp. our child) on social media, I’m honestly perplexed at how someone who says she worries about safety can also so happily divulge everything about her family. (I mean there isn’t ANYthing your viewers don’t know about the kids, Joe, or your marriage at this point.)

If you were a DIY or cooking channel, it’d be different b/c they contribute things viewers can learn from constantly. But in your case, it’s like you’re happy about the 100K-millions of Peeping Toms you’ve invited into your kids’ lives and bedrooms–and sometimes you and Joe’s bedroom as well w/some of the stuff you discuss :-/. (It’s OK to not divulge it all, btw.)

I admit I used to be a huge fan of yours when I was pregnant. I thought your videos brought value and taught things then. Watching you have Riley name animals and colors long ago was inspiring and it gave me ideas for our future. Then you began showing and talking about evvverything, and that’s when I stopped watching 99% of your videos. But I knew I had to say something this time around as I can’t believe someone out there would seemingly disregard their family’s safety for the sake of a few bucks or likes. Who knows whether this’ll help, though it may inspire a wannabe mommy vlogger to change her mind for her kids’ sakes.

Along those lines, you’ve said you and Joe are smart about what you share and you haven’t disclosed what city you’re in, and blah blah blah, but anyone can find your address online. (No, really: just try it. Seriously. Do it.) What’s worse: everyone knows what your house looks like inside b/c you couldn’t stop yourself from sharing that either. I don’t get it? And at 13:24 you discuss this more, but from the bottom on my heart I honestly wish you stop and think about ALLLL that you’ve shared: w/your help it doesn’t take much to put 2 and 2 together. I could care less and I hope this helps you, but you don’t want someone w/bad intentions to connect all the dots you’ve laid out.

So congrats, I guess, for such a milestone: Viewers, Likes, and fake Internet points are all the rage these days. If that’s what matters to ya, then, keep it up. But consider trying to be a little less open. With fame comes great responsibility and your kids didn’t ask for any of that–something at least smart celebs keep in mind.

* * *

I know I haven’t blogged in a while; our baby sure keeps us entertained and busy! But I hope these longer pieces compensate a bit for my absences. I know I’ll go back to blogging (never about our child!) more often, but I guess nothing beats that perfect moment when inspiration strikes and I feel like I must say something right then.

I don’t do this for friends or fame, but rather to get things off my chest for my sake, haha. So thanks for being there and spending time with me today!

Who are your favorite vloggers and YouTubers that you actually LEARN things from? Share them below!!