I was recently scrolling through my Facebook feed and came across my future sister-in-law’s (i.e., fiancé’s brother’s wife) post on social media sharing.
It was SO good that I felt like it warranted its own blog post with my own insights, so here it goes. (I’ve added some additional spacings, boldings, to showcase some specific things here and there.)
[Husband] and I have decided not to share too much about Baby Girl on Facebook and other social media sites once she’s born. I will not be posting the standard “birth date, weight, size, etc.” information about her or her full first-middle-last name. This doesn’t mean we aren’t going to be over the moon proud of her and not want to show her off, it just means we don’t want to expose her personal details to the world before she even has a choice over it.
- How many people share their kids’ full names, birth dates, weights, etc. on everything from Facebook to Instagram–regardless of those channels’ privacy settings (or their kids’ consent)?
- Don’t they realize nothing shared online is actually private?
- [I bet you don’t even know my full name, suckas!]
- I also think it’s sad that she has to clarify that even though she won’t post much, that it doesn’t mean they won’t be proud of their daughter, because since when does oversharing = pride?
- Thankfully people already know I’m private enough to not share about what’s none of their business. (And yes, I do have a blog but I’m very selective about what I share. As a result, you don’t much about my fiancé or his family either ;), because I’m respecting THEIR privacy.)
I’m realistic knowing her name and birth day will get out there but I don’t want to be the one exposing her details. The last thing I want to find out is when she’s older and goes to apply for a loan, buy a car, or get a credit card that her identity was stolen years and years ago. This may sound paranoid but I’d rather be the parent protecting her information than over-sharing it.
Again, it’s like people don’t realize how easily identities can be stolen nowadays, and how little goes into doing so. But I, for one, won’t be sharing my kids’ info or this Baby Girl’s. We’re not being paranoid: we’re being realistic.
When it comes to photos, there will be a few, but we won’t share too many online for countless reasons. I hope you understand. We will be sending out birth announcements to people we have addresses for and I’ll probably be texting some to a few of you as time goes on.
I write more about this below, but for now, I’ll just say this: Perverts DON’T want parents to stop sharing pictures of their kids. Let that sink in, will ya?
But ever since working for an internet security company, [Husband being] in the specific field of work he’s in, and each of us experiencing our own identity or credit-card theft, we’d like to control her exposure for as long as possible. As an offshoot of that, even her personal safety.
This is so smart. I mean, really, how many parents and parents-to-be do you see that care so much about this?
I’m not talking about deciding whether to give kids their own smartphones, which is BEYOND stupid in and of itself (for one, are they drug dealers that they need to be so connected all the time?). I’m talking about actually taking care of a baby’s/child’s online presence and ensuring that it’s well-protected against potential threats. Because they’re children who can’t protect THEMSELVES.
****And finally, as a serious request, if we do send you a photo of her please do not share it online without our consent. Thank you and we do hope you understand!
Duly noted: I won’t :).
**And as a footnote: In no way are we coming down on anyone who does share their child’s information and photos. I respect each and everyone’s choice and actions. As long as you love and cherish your children all the more power to you!
I am kind of coming down on those kinds of parents. Be smart and don’t overshare, for your kids’ sakes.
– – –
Now contrast her post to the Outdaughtered accounts on Facebook and Instagram. Firstly, I LOVE that show (and did you know it was renewed for a second season?): The girls are so darling, and the parents so wholesome. Danielle, the girls’ mom, also has a killer body after having SIX children (five of them at once!) and it definitely inspires me for when I get to be pregnant.
But on their accounts you’ll see, for instance, pictures of the babies half-naked. (Let’s face it: What person today doesn’t have a picture of themselves when they were naked/half-naked as a baby? However, is sharing it necessary?!)
I have a problem with this because PERVERTS can’t get enough of those pictures. And I feel like parents should know better! (Kinda like that mom who replicated an old Coppertone ad with her daughter’s bum showing? Dumb.) Parents SHOULD protect their kids against stuff like this–not let them “fall so the kids can get back up” because the parents didn’t know any better.
If this sounds familiar, it may be because I’ve actually written about this before, and I’m hoping to instill in more current and future parents that kids need their privacy, and that you don’t have to write about everything that your kid has been up to.
I could go on but I won’t. Instead, I’ll just close with this: Stop with the oversharing. Prevent future identity thefts. Don’t let someone dictate how your precious child’s life turns out based on something dumb you shared when they were kids. Stop posting pictures of your kids half-naked. (You and I aren’t depraved so we can’t comprehend what others will do with them, but just the idea of it is sickening.)
Embrace safety and privacy, and for your kids’ sakes, BE SMART about what you share online and who you share it with.